It seems counter-intuitive that something we are so comfortable with can oftentimes cause us discomfort, but that’s the downside of beliefs.

It’s amazing to me the number of arguments we get into over the years about things we believe in but can’t substantiate. I have no problem with people believing; I have real difficulty when they present their beliefs as facts and have no evidence.

 

When we believe something, it can act as a catalyst or a retardant to our behavior. If you have a belief that something’s not possible for you, in spite of the fact that countless others were in the same set of circumstance as you and succeeded, you are a victim of an idea you’ve gotten comfortable with.

 

Reflect on this for a moment: You got most of your beliefs by accident. They were inherited from your parents or early caregivers before you knew what inherited meant.  Reminds me of a story . . .

 

My granddaughters were visiting over the Christmas holidays and I told them that the magic words to make the outside tree lights come on were, “I love Santa Claus.” I instructed them that they had to say that phrase loudly because Santa was getting old and was a bit hard of hearing. As kids do, they really went for it full throated. The tree lights came on and all was well.

 

About 20 minutes later one of my granddaugters was in the refrigerator looking for something. I asked if I could help. She said she wanted some orange juice because her throat was sore. It was sore from the shouting and, in her mind, the OJ would make it feel better. This is not a belief she came up with on her own. She learned that at home.

 

The suggestion she heard about orange juice may bring her some comfort through life when she has a sore throat, but if she, later in life, climbs on a soapbox and claims her belief is a universal fact, she’ll be arguing for an assertion that has no teeth and will be the recipient of many bites.

 

Even more uncomfortable is the person who argues for the beliefs that aren’t working for them. That includes all of us. Think of the last time you were spouting biblical-like truths and your results were as far away from the truth as possible. You probably didn’t have to search long.

 

I have lots of beliefs I can’t substantiate but I’ve come to the point where I no longer defend or hold them out as truth. This causes me to reflect more on what I believe and examine the ones that are causing me discomfort and get more comfortable by putting them behind me. For me, it’s a work in progress, and I can report forward movement.

 

I still believe in Santa Claus but in a different way than when I was my granddaughters’ age. I found that when you let your beliefs evolve, you don’t get stuck in a fairy tale that has an uncomfortable ending.

 

All the best,

John