Derision may get you short-term results but it rarely gains you long-term respect.

I've done my share of supervising in this lifetime as a parent, manager, coach and, most often, as a supervisor of myself. I have succeeded and failed on all fronts.

 

My failures have a common thread - Derision.

 

When I chided and derided, my results, in fact, came - I sometimes won the battle but always lost the game.

 

I don't intend this to be a treatise on supervising others, but, rather, as an inspection of how we oversee ourselves.

 

"Don't be so rough on yourself" is this wisdom in a nutshell. Yes, self-correct along your course, but that doesn't include yelling at yourself until you're hoarse.

 

I have never seen self-flagellation work longer than the lifespan of a fruit fly, yet it's our go-to strategy when things aren't going.

 

Demeaning is a strategy that's been seamlessly handed down from generation to generation but what we rarely notice is that it falls apart at the seams.

 

It's an unworkable strategy that gets played out everyday, nowhere more than in our own playground - our mind.

 

If you take a moment and unplug from debating with yourself inside your head, and just observe what's being said, you'll find the conversation filled with the same words your over-bearing supervisor likely said.

 

Your main job in life is supervising yourself. My only question is: Are you willing to give up a strategy that doesn't work?

 

The next time you find yourself immersed in internal derision, take a breath or two before you make your next decision. Each time you notice and take a breath, you'll be teaching your supervisor how to better treat you, rather than being a rented mule asking them to beat you.

 

All the best,

John