Numbing what we don't want to feel has become our national pastime. We've picked our poison to do the trick, and we trick ourselves into thinking we've found a real solution.

There is a difference in wanting to feel good vs. not wanting to feel bad. One is a healthy strategy that you can feel; the other is avoidance of that which you feel.

"Dr. Feelgood" and "Mother's Little Helpers," whether downers or uppers, keep us from keeping it real - sedating ourselves so we can't feel.

The usual suspects sit at the top of the list - Drugs and alcohol. Watch anyone self-medicating or over-serving themselves and it's easy to see they don't want to feel. They are attempting to negate the main function of their body - to feel.

They aren't the only culprits. Look at someone constantly posting on Facebook or endlessly surfing the net. They are attempting to divert themselves from feeling. The person who makes themselves constantly busy is also employing an avoidance strategy, the only goal being not to feel.

I can think of no better way to point out the folly of this practice than the beach ball analogy given to us by Dr. Dave Dobson. He told us, "You will eventually lose the battle of attempting to hold a beach ball underwater."

The body's main job is to feel. When we continually attempt to circumvent our feelings, we numb our humanity and attempt to keep it submerged.

Feeling is necessary for a fuller life. All our attempts not to feel lead to more emptiness. Observe the behavior of the person not wanting to feel. As time goes on, they do more of that behavior to chase the feeling away - drink more, drug more, work more, divert their attention more.

The advertising industry wants to keep unfeeling alive. It's key to sell all the products they peddle.

There is only one remedy - Feeling. It's our natural state.

Feeling means allowing your body to feel - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Spend some time in the company of your unadulterated feelings. Let them have a seat at the table and break bread with them. Have a meal with feel and allow it to metabolize.

Note: The strategy is not to talk over your feelings. That's just another diversion to feeling. The practice is to feel, period.

When you allow yourself to feel, you become more alive. It takes some retraining to get back to our natural state; the longer you struggle with the beach ball, the longer you'll wait.

Final thought: Let your body feel and watch your diversionary practices begin to peel.

 

All the best,

John