Our stated priorities are routinely overshadowed by actions our patterned behaviors reveal about us.

What is a priority for you? You may be surprised that your answer isn’t supported by the evidence.

How many people would answer, “Getting drunk is my priority”? What about, “Being easily distracted”?

What you spend your time doing is your priority; what you say is your priority is often a fairy tale.

How often have you heard someone say that their family is their highest priority? If you listed their behaviors and prioritized them, the ones at the top often would not be in service of their family.

Patterns are routines that run themselves, often leaving us totally unaware that our priorities have been taken over by a mechanistic system.

It may be time to begin recognizing your patterns.

To outgrow a pattern, it’s first helpful to recognize that it’s in place. It may have snuck up on you over the years but it’s there in plain sight for anyone who’s willing to look.

You would never list that pattern as a priority, but that’s exactly what it has become.

My priority is:

*Yelling at the kids.

*Letting my housework pile up.

*Drinking from the time I get home until bedtime.

*Surfing the net.

*Watching TV.

You would never hear anyone list any of these as their priorities, but actions don’t lie.

A helpful start is to recognize what you spend your time doing, and then list those behaviors in a hierarchical order. The ones that sit at the top of the pack will be your priorities.

What you will probably find is that your list of priorities is your list of shortcomings. Then it’s time to work your list. For example, it may be revealing to a smoker that they spend more time with their cigarettes than they do with their family. This recognition can serve as the catalyst to outgrow a pattern.

Listing our behaviors as priorities takes right and wrong out of the equation and lets us recognize the pure reality of our priorities. We are quick to defend or make excuses for our behavior, but we would be less likely to defend it if we recognized it as our priority.

The difference between what we say and do isn’t anything new. Recognizing it is.

Recognizing our behaviors is a great first step in reordering our priorities.

All the best,

John