Reality is the sum of all contingencies. That means it contains all upsides and downsides, and when we recognize that, then we know we always have a choice.

Every solution contains a problem and every problem contains a solution. This seems very straightforward on the surface, but where we get hung up is that the solution has to be one we like. That approach totally ignores the downside of reality, and in doing so, it throws us into the world of illusion where everything has to smell like roses.

Illusion is the problem and choice is the solution. We always have a choice but we don’t recognize it as such when it doesn’t match up with our preference of what it should be. We’re like the person who is drowning and complains about the color of the life preserver they are thrown.

Reality visits every minute of every day. It’s really the only thing we can count on besides death and taxes.

It’s OK to say, “Woe is me” when we experience the downside of reality. That is a human response. The piece we may not recognize is that we have a choice to stay there or not. We seem to have it figured out that the upside is ephemeral and won’t last forever, but we haven’t made the same calculation about the downside.

The downside isn’t to be ignored; it’s to be felt. Making the decision to feel the downside is a choice we can make that will metabolize the pain it contains more quickly, so we can move back in the direction of the upside.

Ignoring the pain or talking to yourself about it only elongates it. Feeling it is a choice we rarely make, and fully feeling our pain is the solution - the one we don’t prefer.

There is an answer to your problem. It’s contained in the pain that’s associated with it. Allowing yourself to find out where that sensation registers in your body and spending time with it gives it the recognition it’s looking for and allows it to melt and fade away.

Denial will keep you in pain and stuck on the downside.

Into each life much reality will fall. Clap when it’s good and cry when it’s bad, but don’t ever buy into the illusion that you don’t have a choice.

Choice is a constant option. It’s the go-between between the yin and yang of reality.

All the best,

John