Before you can forgive another, you have to forgive yourself for holding a grudge.

Forgiveness is not just a matter of broadcasting the words "I forgive you." That's just a conscious action that does not contain the all the necessary components to forgive.

Forgiveness has to begin with you before it can end up somewhere else.

It's the grudge against forgiveness that stands in the way. If you deem someone unworthy of forgiveness, it doesn't matter how many attempts you make; they will all fail.

To be successful, you have to give up the grudge.

Think of forgiveness as air. You don't give air to someone, unless you are doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation; you share air with them. If you have no air where you are, there is no air to share.

If you don't have it to give, it won't be received.

If you and your worst enemy are in the same place gasping for air, you're not thinking I want air for me and not for them. You just want air. If you are holding a grudge against air, you will both smother.

Forgiveness begins for you when you have a willingness to let it in. When you open the window to forgiveness, that's when it has an opportunity to blow in your direction. You can't talk air into coming in; it takes action, and the first action is the willingness for it to happen. Willingness is opening the window.

Once you are willing to accept forgiveness for yourself, you'll be in a much better position to share it.

Forgiveness feels good. It's like a breath of fresh air. If it doesn't feel good, it's not forgiveness; it's a suffocating grudge disguised as forgiveness.

This is a long way of saying that you have to forgive yourself before you can forgive another.

The key to forgiving yourself is letting go of the grudge against forgiveness. We believe we are holding the grudge against another; we are not. We are holding it against forgiveness itself.

If we are willing to open the window to forgiveness, we will breathe easier and have the sufficient amount of air in our lungs to offer forgiveness to another.

All the best,

John