The job of the headline is to get attention. The National Enquirer has the best headlines, but most of their stories lose your attention quickly. That’s because keeping attention needs lots of attention.

The best way to keep attention is to give attention. Lots of people are vying for your attention but they don’t do the work necessary to keep it. That takes attention.

We may know what turns peoples’ heads but to get them to buy in, we need to keep their attention. Keeping someone’s attention begins by focusing your attention on them. Once you begin to give attention, it most often sets up a push-pull of attention between the two of you. That means attention flows back and forth.

Until that flow begins, all you have is a headline.

Giving attention means to put your attention on another. That means to come out of the chatter in your head and focus fully on what another is offering you. Rather than parse every word they are saying in your head or consciously catalog every look or body movement they are giving or making, just be with them without agenda. That’s attention.

My experience is your attention will be felt and it will start a flow of attention between you and others.

The problem in staying in headline mode is there is no substance discovered. It’s just clever retorts going back and forth with little attention being given and very little being communicated. That’s most conversations.

Here’s an experiment. Enter a conversation with a purpose but not an agenda. The purpose is to give attention. Reminds me of a story . . .

My teenage friend, Bob was an excellent piano player but he didn’t yet have a band formed. He wanted to make some money as a musician. My mother was managing a restaurant at the time and suggested he come in and play a couple of nights. He only got paid a nominal fee but he was happy he was getting some money and had a job entertaining people with his talent.

My mother noticed the people liked him and did something that tripled the amount of money he made in an evening. She took a giant brandy snifter, put it on top of the piano and put a few dollars in it. It began the process of people reaching into their pocket and offering tips for his talent. At the end of the evening the snifter was full.

The headline was necessary - the brandy snifter with a few dollars. What made it fill up was his savvy to play what they wanted rather than what he wanted to give them. His attention was on them and it came back to him.

Getting attention may open the door but giving attention will get you so much more.

All the best,

John