If You Get In By Accident, Get Out On Purpose - Grasshopper
Accidents happen and rarely do we get out of them by accident.
Our lives are filled with things we've accidentally fallen in to; many of these accidents are known as beliefs.
Beliefs are patterns that we act out and act in accordance with everyday.
Where did many of these patterns come from? They came from unconscious conditioning during our very early, formative years.
We learned patterns without knowing how we learned them. Think of your pattern of speech. You adopted it, not on purpose, but by accident. You modeled the speech of those you grew up around without knowing you were mimicking it.
Many of our beliefs were formed the same way. When I conduct seminars, I usually ask how many people in the room have the same religion as their parents. A majority of hands go up. I then ask, "Did they ask your permission?" The answer is obviously "No."
We get into many of our beliefs by accident. If your beliefs are not working for you, it's highly improbable that you can get out by happenstance.
Escaping beliefs takes purpose.
But before you can formulate an escape strategy, you have to recognize that a particular belief isn't working. It's easier than you think.
Just find out where you are continually missing the mark in life and you'll find the behind-the-scenes pattern that's running your life.
Where do you repeatedly come up short? Is it in relationships? Is it with money? Is it with your weight? Is it with another life draining situation?
There is often an accidentally learned pattern of behavior as the root cause. It may be a belief that was given to you a long time ago that puts a governor on your success in that area. "Money doesn't grow on trees" (it actually does) and "Eat everything on your plate" are two bits of accidental learning that many of us absorbed.
Discovering the cause of your shortcomings is only one part of the strategy for getting out. The other part takes repeated purpose.
The secret for getting out is simple and takes practice. Learn the art of interruption.
Begin to interrupt the pattern of behavior you want to outgrow. The key to interruption being effective is to interrupt the pattern while it is happening. That means to train yourself to catch yourself running your patterns.
It's of little use to berate yourself after the pattern has run. That just engenders guilt and does little to help you outgrow the behavior.
The first step is to notice the pattern while it's running. The next step is the biggest secret for getting out on purpose - Interruption.
When you begin to interrupt behavior, while it's running, you are at the threshold of change. It takes repeated application of interruption to step through that doorway.
When you notice and interrupt, you set up the conditions for new behavior to be created and a pathway to follow.
You'll discover more of your ability to create when you interrupt the route that keeps you going in circles.
One temptation is to talk about how the accident happened. That's useful once or twice to establish the facts. Continuing to talk about the cause won't get you out; purposeful interruption will.
Another temptation is to justify your behavior under the catchall phrase, "That's just the way I am." That's an outright lie. Truth be told: That's just the way you are patterned.
There is a way out of your accident and it has to happen on purpose.
Emily Post most certainly wouldn't agree, but for new patterns to form, rudely interrupting yourself is the key.
All the best,
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