You can’t out swim your sorrow by chasing after a tomorrow that will always be off in the distance.

We have a penchant to swim after our losses, a practice which acts as an anchor and drags us to the bottom. Look no further than any disgraced politician still proclaiming their innocence.

We don’t announce our losses as loudly as our wins, if at all. That’s because we pretend we didn’t lose. Even the legendary football coach, Vince Lombardi suffered from this human frailty. He was quoted after a football game, “We didn’t lose; we just ran out of time.”

It may be time to admit that you’ll never catch that ship even if you have the swimming skills of a Michael Phelps.

Acknowledging a loss is recognizing, rather than dismissing, reality. We as a culture have been conditioned not to embrace the downside in life even though it’s with us in equal measure to its counterpart. I believe that’s one of the hidden lessons contained in the yin and yang symbol.

Anyone who proclaims “Losing is not an option,” is either a screenwriter for bad, action movies, or blinded to their own experience.

Losing is a part of life. The sooner we embrace it, the sooner we’ll let it go.

I just heard a roar of disapproval from the “I Don’t Give Up” crowd. You will have earned your ulcers.

There is a difference between stick-to-itiveness and being a blind rat running on a treadmill. One will help you reach your goals; the other guarantees you’ll never get your cheese.

Recognizing a loss is painful; that’s why we avoid doing it. The reality of that strategy is that we hang on to that pain into perpetuity rather than experiencing it fully just once. It throws off our balance and keeps us locked into the downside.

You have to get off the treadmill of pain to have any chance to find a tomorrow filled with less sorrow.

To get back into balance, it’s necessary to recognize the difference between a collapsed bridge and a roadblock. One can be removed; the other demands we find another route.

The route back to balance travels through pain. It can be a short or long journey depending on how quickly you want to open your eyes and follow the signs pointing the way home.

 

All the best,

John