Evidence Of Being An Adult: When You Do Nice Things For People Who Aren’t Nice To You - Grasshopper
Your Mom was half right, but she forgot to tell you the second part of the wisdom: If you can’t DO something nice for somebody, do nothing at all.
Moms get training in niceness early on when they continue to cook, clean and care for that snide little brat who has no appreciation for all that she does. By and large, dads get the same training, just not as much.
There is no reward for being unpleasant on purpose. We all get caught up in being unlikable from time to time due to our conditioned behavior, but when you have the presence of mind to notice you have a choice between nice and otherwise, the adult in the room will choose nice.
When you choose unpleasantness on purpose, you have chosen to remain immature.
Nothing moves forward when niceness is sent to the back of the bus.
My apologies to Jesus, but I do believe there are times not to turn the other cheek, but those times are few and far between. There is, most often, room for nice.
Not every overt action demands an overt reaction. How’s that been working out for the Arabs and Jews?
Surly, rude, abrasive reactions are catalysts for escalation.
Someone has to make a different choice when barbs begin to fly; otherwise escalation is the only outcome. Sometimes that choice is to do nothing.
Doing nothing is a nice choice. When you are locked and loaded and ready to read someone the riot act, doing nothing instead, sets the table for progress rather than pugilism. It may end up that you choose a knockdown, drag out, but at least it wasn’t the only choice considered.
Nice is underrated and under used.
If you think being nice makes you a pushover, you’re too busy pushing a win-at-all-costs agenda, which is a losing proposition. It’s time for a time out - Time to consider nice.
All the best,
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