My father was a master of its use. He would tell me something he knew that I didn't, and after he was done, I would invariably fall in the trap and say, "I didn't know that." His pre-recorded retort was. "You didn't know that, John?"

Sadly, and laugh out loud funny, the practice has passed on to my children. Reminds me of a story . . .

It was 5 years ago and my son and daughter-in-law had invited me over for dinner on my birthday at their new home. After a lovely meal, we went outside to take advantage of the early evening, springtime air.

I asked my son if there was another way out to the main road from his street. Rather than say "Yes" or "No," he pointed to a street sign that read "No Outlet" and said, "You didn't see that sign?" We looked at each other and laughed aloud. Grandpop would have been proud.

The real lesson is this: Leave unchallenged what someone doesn't know and challenge them on what they're unwilling to learn.

Underscoring what someone doesn't know smacks of superiority and will get fewer people to listen to you. Giving them the opportunity to learn is a more worthwhile endeavor.

Unwillingness is the culprit in not being able to learn something new.

If you already have it all figured out, willingness is not in your kit and your learning stops.

If you own the mindset that you're not smart enough, your unwillingness will also leave you under educated.

If you are stubbornly set in your ways, your school days are over.

Willingness is a necessary ingredient for any type of success.

Willingness opens the door to the improbable and, sometimes, to the seemingly impossible.

Willingness is the closest thing to a magic bullet that we possess.

Going into a negotiation? Leave your bargaining points at the door and enter the room with willingness and watch what happens. You see and hear more and you'll feel better about whatever you decide.

Is something missing in your life? Be willing to allow it to show up. That doesn't mean you use willpower to force it through the door. Willingness is more of an attitude - an angle of approach that's not as tunnel visioned as willpower.

For example, be willing to allow happiness to arrive at your doorstep and you'll get more frequent visits. If you hang on to "willpowering" something specific to happen, you'll miss seeing all the treasures that do make an appearance.

Be willing to allow unexpected, delightful surprises to come your way and you'll see more than your current share.

Willingness serves to take off the blinders and gives us a broader view of what is available to us.

If you're looking for a mantra to adopt - a universal, one-size-fits-all affirmation - give this one a go:

Willingness, as an affirmation, doesn't expect the desire to happen; it just lays a more solid groundwork that it could happen by revealing previously blocked possibilities.

Instead of affirming "I am healthy, wealth and wise," you would be better served by affirming, "I am willing to have health, wealth and wisdom." As I've written about in a previous blog post, the first affirmation delivers a polarity response from your unconscious that, in effect, says, "No you're not. You're sick as a dog, poor as a church mouse, and dumber than a stump." The willingness affirmation suggests an openness to these desired conditions should they present themselves. It lessens your patterned resistance to them occurring.

Pure determination is unlikely to get you what you want because it's not a matter of willpower. Success is more easily arrived at by employing its gentle second cousin - "Willingness."

I trust that you're willing to give willingness a test drive. If you do, you'll drive down more streets where there are fewer "No Outlet" signs.

 

All the best,

John