Some people will spend a lifetime attempting to avoid having their heart broken. The main fear they live with is giving themselves to another. They may be a giving person, but they truly don't give themselves.

It's a rather selfish thing to do, and my sense is it stems from protecting an image they've built up that they never want tarnished. All their effort goes into keeping the image intact with no time to explore or give away their core self.

Heartbreak is having the illusion of who you are shattered.

If you've ever had your heart broken, your illusion about who you were became a pile of dust at the feet of reality.

It's from these ashes that we rise up and learn to risk. There is no reward without risking - only a lifetime of worshiping at the feet of a false god.

If you never risk enough to get hurt, you spend your life protecting something that doesn't exist - your image.

We spend more time polishing our image than we do finding our life. It's similar to the widespread practice of spending more time planning your vacation than you do planning your life.

I won't lie to you, having your image destroyed is painful, but less painful than all the hurt we experience pretending to be our façade.

To feel life, you have to risk heartbreak. Whether you go in a step at a time or jump right in, the end result is the same - an opening to the supply of giving that's never exhausted - yourself.

Keeping your image alive has no payday, only the false promise of something better in the future if you keep it nice and shiny. That means you'll always be waiting for life to happen, rather than discovering that it's always happening.

You can't give yourself if you haven't found yourself.

If you desire true intimacy, risk having your heart broken. It opens the door to giving yourself.

All the best,

John