Do Not Force - Grasshopper

A number of years ago I came across an ancient Chinese phrase that completely changed the way I approached life: Wu Wei.

I learned it from writer and speaker Alan Watts. It loosely translates as non-forcing or effortless action.

Watts used a simple example. Suppose you're trying to unlock a stubborn door. Instead of cranking harder on the key, give it a little jiggle. Work with the lock instead of trying to overpower it.

That little illustration hit me right between the eyes.

Before I heard about Wu Wei, I was the proverbial bull in a china shop. If something wouldn't budge, I'd push harder. If it still wouldn't budge, I'd push even harder. More than once, I ended up breaking the very thing I was trying to fix.

Then I realized . . . I did the same thing with people.

How about you?

Are you trying to force someone to see things your way? A lifestyle? A political opinion? A religious belief? Or maybe just convince them your quarterback is better than theirs.

There's nothing wrong with sharing an opinion. The trouble starts when we become attached to being right.

Force almost always creates resistance.

That's where Wu Wei comes in.

Before you lean into force, take a pause. See what happens if you ease up instead. You may discover another way through that hadn't occurred to you when you were busy pushing.

I've found Wu Wei to be a remarkably peaceful way of life that offers a lot less strife.

So give yourself a beat before you apply the heat. More often than not, you'll discover that life responds better to a gentle jiggle than a hard shove.

All the best,