Texture - Grasshopper

Smooth, velvety, rough, or sandpapery. Any word you use to describe it, texture has a specific feel.

Feelings have texture too. When we attempt to describe a feeling with words, the texture of our feeling doesn’t translate because the other person has different sensations attached to those same words.

 

“I know how you feel” is one of the most ineffective phrases ever uttered. No one knows how you feel. Not your mother, father, sister, brother, or significant other. The sensations coursing through your body are unique to you. They have a specific intensity that produces a specific texture that can’t be defined no matter how large our vocabulary.

 

Empathy is a sensation we get when we sense another is feeling poorly. We don’t know what they’re feeling, but we know in our own body it’s not up to snuff. We’re feeling poorly that they’re feeling poorly, but don’t make the mistake that you know how they feel. You don’t and you never will.

 

The message here is simple: Please offer a sympathetic or empathetic ear but refrain from using the phrase they don’t want to hear: I know how you feel. It’s the wrong texture.

 

All the best,