The Scales Will Never Tip If You Keep Weighing Your Options - Grasshopper
You're stuck at a way station that keeps you weighted down when you wait for the scales to decide.
The mind is a dichotomy machine. For every "this" there is a "that." For every "pro" there is a corresponding "con."
The trap we fall into is that if we think about something long enough, we will then have enough information to decide. Truth be told, you'll only have more information with equal amounts of ayes and nays.
This is a lifestyle for some. They cannot decide, and when they do, their decision is fraught with questions. The questions contain all the pros and cons as well, and the cycle starts all over again.
My favorite ancient Chinese proverb fits here – "Talk doesn't cook rice."
People who talk about their decisions or potential decisions haven't really decided. They're still weighing.
Once you truly decide, there are no lingering questions about your decision. There is a feeling of certainty with a genuine decision that needs no debate. You cannot debate a feeling of certainty. It either is or it isn't; it can't be both.
The answer to this dilemma is to take a load off your mind. You do so by letting your body decide. Your body makes all the certain decisions anyway. It just lets your head know after the decision is made.
The answer machine is in your body – your feelings. Your head is just the ticket dispenser that lets you know the answer. It never creates the answer – that's done in your body. We think we think up the answer. That's like thinking the envelope containing the winner's name at the Academy Awards made the decision.
Reminds me of my friend . . .
He has a 3 day decision process. He knows he has to come up with an answer to something and it usually takes him three days to decide. He thinks that it takes 3 days of thinking and weighing to get to this point but it's not the case. His body takes 3 days to decide.
He could be doing anything else during those 3 days besides thinking about his dilemma and the answer of certainty would still come, probably sooner, without an ounce of debate.
He's slowly coming around to the notion that there is a part of him that decides that has nothing to do with mental to and fro.
Sadly, there are others who will remain in their head forever and never get an answer. They can intellectually accept the premise of the body being the decider but they have to fully understand the process in order to accept it. That's like attempting to understand infinity. "Just one more explanation and I think I'll have it" is their silent mantra. Their life is a quest for that one more answer.
Some have convinced themselves the answer is in more education. It's not. It's in your body. They are hypnotized by the idea that something or someone else is going to provide the piece that's missing in them. There's nothing missing. You own the answer machine.
You have a part of you that decides, and to find it, you have to trust that it's there. Trust me that part of you is not in your head.
When you have something you are weighing in your head, send it off to your body for processing and do something else.
Pretend for a moment that you are a photographer that still uses film. You compose your shots from all sorts of angles, triple check the lighting and exposure, and then do the best job you know how. After the shoot, you send the film off to the lab for developing. Let's say that process takes 3 days. How much time spent in debate during those 3 days is going to have any effect on how the pictures come out?
If you're sitting on a fence, it's the perfect perch to watch life pass you by.
Deciding to decide begins when you stop weighing the dichotomies in your mind. They always balance out, leaving you in the middle with no place to call home.
The decision process starts when you begin noticing the debate. When you catch yourself debating the same thing again, simply notice you are having the debate. Each time you interrupt the debate by noticing, you send the information to your body for processing.
Get in the habit of noticing the dichotomy machine at work. It's quite entertaining and noticing it is crucial in cutting off the debate. Note: Notice without judgement. Every time you notice yourself weighing the options, you weaken the argument. This noticing process makes space in your mind for the answer your body has been waiting to deliver.
You already have the answer; you just have to make room to let it pop in.
You can debate what I'm offering here until hell freezes over and stay right where you are OR you can notice there's another way to get to heaven.
All the best,
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