Waiting For What You Don’t Want - Grasshopper
If you’re anything like me, you’ve waited a long time for something to happen that didn’t. What you may not have experienced yet is the realization that you no longer want it. It’s a bittersweet revelation.
It’s bitter because you lament that you’ve wasted a lot of time and emotional energy on something that’s now undesirable. It’s sweet because you reclaim that energy to go for what you do want.
Reminds me of a story . . . I was a radio broadcaster for 30 plus years. Like a lot of DJs, I moved from city to city exploring new opportunities. But I never was able to work for the station in my hometown that was my ultimate goal. I made several attempts but, sadly, they were not interested in me.
The station was one of the most respected in the nation but like many AM stations of that time, they went the way of all good flesh and lost all their listeners. By the time I was good enough to work there, they were on their way to circling the drain. As I look back, I wasted a lot of time and caused myself lots of pain.
So how do you tell when something you say you want is no longer worthy of your desire? I don’t have an exact answer but my short answer is it’s a feeling.
If you plug your desire into your feeling apparatus (your body), you’ll get a “go” or “no” signal. Let me caution you that a “no” signal is not a rationalization in your mind like “why go for it, if I can’t get it?” That’s just exasperation and justification.
A “no” signal is a “not OK” feeling. It’s an actual sense registering somewhere in your body. It pays dividends to pay attention to the signals your body sends. They’re far more reliable than the mental musings we get locked into.
The words of the Persian Poet Rumi come to mind:
Don't grieve for what doesn't come
Some things that don't happen
Keep disasters from happening
My message here is to let your long-term goal roll around in your body from time to time. You may just discover it no longer makes sense.
All the best,
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