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If Arguing About The Cause Will Fix The Problem, Let’s Argue - Grasshopper

“A” causes “B” will be argued about until eternity, and the problem will go unchecked for a lifetime.

Knowing what causes something is quite helpful when something mechanical needs fixing. “Oh, it’s a worn washer that’s causing the faucet to drip.” A quick trip to the Home Depot and about 15 minutes work has us with a properly working tap.



Imagine arguing that it’s the city or town’s fault for sending too much pressure that’s causing the leak. You may laugh but they are the kind of arguments we participate in when it comes to human problems.



“The reason he’s that way is because his mother was that way.”


 

“No, it was his father, the drunk, that caused that behavior.”


 

This argument can, will and does go on forever until there’s no one there to argue with.



My main issue with the people helping community – psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers and other well-meaning counselors – is that this approach – finding the cause – is their stock and trade.



It may be informative to find a cause but it does little to solve the problem.



People with problems who are seeking help need to seek out a bridge builder, not an historian.



“Where are you now and where do you want to go?” has to be the question that’s answered before you can move towards the other side of your situation. How you got there is of little relevance when seeking a solution, but most of the time is spent there.



We look for a cause and we either find one or speculate about one and then dwell on it and argue about it. This most often leads to digging in our heels with justification and spending all our time “proving our point” which perpetuates a pointless argument.



Have the realization that you are where you are, and if you need help moving forward, find someone who’s already made the trip and follow their lead.

 


If you’re hell bent on staying where you are, the formula is simple: Argue for your limitations. You’ll be in good company because it’s the global pastime.



But if you start building a bridge from where you are to where you want to go, you’ve found a cause worth arguing about.

 


All the best,

John











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