Are You Getting Happy To Numb Unhappiness? - Grasshopper
Like you, I've known my fair share of drunks. When I'm around them, it's not a happy experience for me and even less so for them.
For sake of definition, I'm defining a drunk as someone who drinks to a level below consciousness. Their motor skills lessen and their speech slows down, as does their reaction time. They also have trouble comprehending what they would have absorbed at lightning speed before they got happy on their brand of "white lightning."
I've watched brilliant people, whose light shone brightly, dim that light as day turned into night. I've watched their personalities change right before my eyes as they donned their inebriated disguise.
The common denominator I see seems to be a base level of unhappiness. There are sensations and nagging thoughts they are experiencing that they just don't want to deal with, so they numb them. It works until they sober up and then the process starts all over again.
This isn't a treatise on intoxication, just a personal observation.
Many of these people I cite function rather well in the light of day. They are good at what they do. I often wonder what their employers would think if they observed them when they were off the clock.
They have mistaken getting numb for getting happy. They aren't any happier, just less present to their feelings.
Our feelings need our attention. As Dr. Dave Dobson said many moons ago, "You can't hold a beach ball below water forever." It's going to come to the surface.
Your unhappy thoughts and feelings will resurface too.
Feelings need to be acknowledged, not ignored. They just won't take "no" for an answer. They will knock on our door until we allow ourselves to fully feel them. Acknowledged feelings get metabolized; ones that don't, have us don a disguise.
The disguise takes the form of "everything is fine, nothing to see here."
What I see is a bunch of unhappy drunks pretending that everything is AOK.
Becoming present to your feelings is a much better way to get happy. It's not a painless process, but the results are exponentially greater than numbing your pain again.
All the best,John
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