My Ego’s Bigger Than Your Ego - Grasshopper
Ever been in a conversation with someone where you wanted to one-up them, have the last word, appear smarter, win at all costs? Welcome to the world class game, Who's Got The Bigger Ego?
Take a quick look at how a robotic computer works. It has circuitry and a power source. No matter how sophisticated the microchips and software, it doesn't function without power.
Our ego is our mother board. We brag about it, cite how many functions it performs, its superior logic, how fast it outthinks others, and how totally superior it is to others' workings.
When I'm attempting to appear more superior and knowledgeable than you, I may as well just stop the game and announce what's really going on, "My ego's bigger than yours."
My robot goes to war with your robot. My hand puppet is tougher than your hand puppet. My façade is prettier than yours.
When you pull the plug on the robot, it no longer is concerned with winning; it's just a hollow entity with nothing to offer – a big boat anchor.
We buy into the illusion that we sustain ourselves on a diet of chips and software. We don't pay attention to who is really providing the sustenance – our power source. Our source of power allows the ego to operate. It's never the other way around, although we operate as if that is so.
The desire to excel at something comes from our source. The desire to step on everyone who gets in our way is our programming. We have convinced ourselves that we must win a t all costs. That is the realm of the ego which only gives us predictable, finite options. Its circuitry runs in loops and there are no off ramps, so it only covers the same territory – again.
We stay stuck in the battle of the egos – who is right and who is wrong.
You can certainly have a difference of opinion with someone, but attempting to butt them into submission is the ego at work. This strategy doesn't make room for a workable solution because the ego is not looking for a workable solution. It's looking to be right.
If you're playing a competitive game, certainly set the intention to win, use your skills and play your best. No matter what the outcome, please remind yourself that it was just a game.
The difficulty is when we play games in life. This is the ego on steroids. The ego's game is to win no matter what. If you ever bothered to keep score, you'll notice that this strategy isn't working.
Begin to notice the part of you that reacts to others. Then notice that your reactions are predictable and have an abysmal win ratio. The reactions are coming from your ego – the part of you that you made up and got comfortable with.
Next, get in the habit of witnessing the ego at work. Stand back and observe its predictable "Win or go home" reactions. Just become an observer of your conditioned thought process at work. This non-judgemental observation of your thoughts opens up a space in your thinking for something new and novel to show up. This observational skill is your power source at work.
The new thing that shows up is a response – not a reaction. One is predictable; the other is a doorway to a different future. You'll never get responses when you are playing the ego's game – just conditioned reactions that take you to the same place each time – Stuck!
Responses are limitless and reactions are in short supply.
The next time you are in a disagreement with someone, take the time to throw in the clutch and ask yourself, "Who is responding, me or my ego?" If it's your ego, you are reacting on automatic pilot with a cookie cutter answer. If you're responding from your source, you're given a new way to go – a way that has a prayer of reestablishing flow.
If you consistently reach impasses, stalemates or deadlocks, you're either a professional negotiator or you're playing the home version of Who's Got the Bigger Ego?
The one-up war is over the minute you have the realization that you are not your programmed reactions. This recognition opens an alternate door - one that you've never seen before.
All the best,
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