Reasons Don’t Get You A Re-Do - Grasshopper
Reasons are justifications in another suit of clothes, especially when we make less than productive choices. They are often attempts at explanations to absolve us of responsibility for behavior. Notice how often you use reasons when you want a second chance.
Here’s the kicker: The person you are reasoning with is not buying your reasons. You may deem them “unreasonable,” but it’s more likely they aren’t buying into your horseshit.
It’s not your reason that will get you a re-do; It’s the compassion/appreciation/patience/love/etc. the person on the receiving end has for you, in spite of your reasons, that will get you another bite at the apple.
If you think it’s your reasons that got you another chance, you’ll soon find out how quickly people can become unreasonable if you keep testing their tolerance with a reservoir of reasons.
The sooner you run out of reasons, the sooner you will address the issue you want people to be reasonable about.
Reasons are a barrier to progress. I have quoted her many times but my 4th grade teacher’s instruction still applies: “You can have what you want or your reasons why not.”
I will also quote Werner Erhard who said, “The reason life doesn’t work is because people don’t keep their agreements.”
When people break their agreements, be prepared to hear a bevy of reasons, none of which will work, but that won’t keep them from coming. We are reasoning machines in need of a monkey wrench.
If we spent as much time on seeking a solution as we do crafting our reasons, we’d be a veritable “dynamo of do,” rather than another pile of horse poo.
“Legitimate reasons” are as rare as Lindsay Lohan or O.J. Simpson taking responsibility for their actions. The less reasons you offer, the sooner you can get on with making amends that will open the door of re-do for you.
All the best,
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