Orbits
From out of the blue, I was struck with the word “Orbits” yesterday. It stuck with me and kept coming back into my mind throughout the course of the day until I wrote it down and let it simmer.
I looked at the note on my night stand before going to bed last night and saw it again this morning when waking up. What’s up with “Orbits”?
It seems it has something to do with sphere of influence.
How does something go from your sphere of influence into another’s orbit or vice versa? My guess is it has to do with proximity and gravitational pull.
Let’s look at marriage as an example. Half of them end in divorce. Something caused the gravitational pull of one partner to weaken. If, at the same time, the other partner comes into close proximity of another orbit, the gravitational pull can cause some tension, pulling the trans-orbiting partner to and fro. Eventually, like on a balanced see-saw, the gravitational pull will take them up or down or, in this case, out or in.
I think many people misinterpret this sphere of influence and think of it as control. The underlying philosophy seems to be that I have to control my children, my spouse, my family members, my co-workers, my boss, my clients, my friends, my life, etc. Influence is not control.
Control is viewed as what I have to do TO them to keep them in orbit; Influence is what do I have to do FOR them to retain my sphere of influence?
Back to marriage for a moment . . . Has yours gotten to the “set and forget” phase? If so, your orbit is weakening and so is your influence. Who you may be taking for granted may be granting someone else’s wishes before long.
You may feel you have lost control. How can you lose something that you never had in the first place? Control is an illusion. If you don’t believe that, try and control the next thought from popping into your mind. You haven’t lost control; you’ve lost influence.
The way to recapture that gravitational pull, if it’s not already out of your orbit, is to give your attention to whatever or whomever is floating away. When we stop paying attention, our sphere of influence weakens and we’re subject to having whom or what we claim to care about drift off into space.
Your attention is the currency of communication. If you’re not spending it on the people or things in your orbit, you may soon find them moonwalking away from you.
All the best,
John
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